Week 8 Comments and Feedback

    I've been pleased with the comments I've received from other students in this class. I usually don't have any grammar issues, so most of the comments have been focused on the story itself. I appreciate the praise for what's liked, and I appreciate the constructive criticism for areas people think could be better. Even if I don't agree with what needs to be changed, I appreciate the time it takes to write the feedback. I do consider some of it. All of the interest in John and Alex waking up from the Garden of Eden has made me want to write a sequel story at some point. There was one comment asking for more information in my author's note about the story of Adam and Eve. It's weird to think about people not already having an idea of what that story is about. Because my story is so similar, I chose not to update the author's note. 

    As for the feedback I've written, I've seen a lot of errors in terms of sentence structure. There was one story that was difficult for me to read because of how many run-ons there were. I had to focus on the story being told rather than how it was written. I ended up appreciating the style even though I think it could use some correction. I've tried to avoid being mean by leaving compliments wherever I can. It's honestly very cool to see where so many people are in how they write. I would like to read more stories and give more feedback.

    I like checking the posts I've made every week to see if someone new has commented. I get why everyone who runs a YouTube channel talks about how in the early days they would check their comments like a man checking on his pregnant wife. I couldn't think of a better analogy there. It'll be cool someday to write something I'm proud of and see how others react to it. 

True (Source)

When the stakes are learning rather than failing or succeeding, challenging oneself is much more enticing. When I trust in God, I can apply this mindset to my life. 

 

Week 8 Reading and Writing

     I love the readings in this class. I probably enjoy the ones I'm unfamiliar with more so than the ones I am familiar with. However, I probably enjoy writing more about the ones I'm familiar with than the ones I'm unfamiliar with. In the future, perhaps I'll enjoy writing about the new familiar--what was once unfamiliar. 

    I haven't tried anything truly challenging with the writing yet. Although I haven't written a straightforward retelling (that sounds too boring to me), I have only written the way I like to. I don't care about description too much, and when you only have a thousand words, description, in my opinion can be wasteful. That said, I know how powerful description can be, and I do enjoy reading it myself. I also haven't taken to heart too much of the feedback I've gotten back from commenters. That's a good thing and a bad thing. For the Adam and Eve story, I don't want to change what I have, but I do want to write more about what people are interested in in a different story. I listen to Laura about grammar and everything, of course. I've enjoyed being edited again. I'm not as careful with my own editing in this class because I know I'm turning in a draft and not a completely finished product. I do tend to write for myself. I like when people can see the merit, but I'm not dismayed when others can't see what I was going for. I know sometimes it can't be seen unless it's explained. That's something I should work on if I want my writing to resonate. 

Elephant Hunt (Source)

Man, I am such a fool. I just spent so long trying to figure out where I could find this image. Thank you, Laura for making us have a source for each image we use. I forgot about it for too long... I picked this image because it looks so good, especially on my website. There's something mythic about primitive men hunting an elephant. There isn't as much sadness for me when I compare it to a modern day elephant hunt. The picture fits my story well because the whole time an elephant is telling a story about humans without malice, and yet this is how his kind was treated.

Moving forward, as for the future, looking ahead... I would like to do more writing. I skipped last week. I've had an idea for part two of the Adam and Eve story for so long. I just hope I haven't forgotten any ideas I wanted to use.

Reading Notes: Tibetan Folk Tales, Part B

 Tibetan Folk Tales by A.L. Shelton with illustrations by Mildred Bryant (1925)

"You little split-nosed rascal," I'll need to remember that.

Poor king of beasts, drowning himself on account of his own reflection.

Some of these tricksters are unsure if their antics will go the way they want them to. This is an example of that.

Let's kill the two "big wives" and share the third in partnership. The object of jealously wasn't even that much. It shows the ridiculousness of human beings. 

I have an idea... what happened in-between when animals had speech and when they didn't? That could be an interesting setting.

Wow. "How the Raven Saved the Hunter" is a really great story. That makes me sad. I would like to remember some of these stories, so I can tell them to my kids. 

The Golden Squah was interesting. A surprise ending even though it was expected the bad man would get his due. 

The Violinist was a longer story. I liked how the violinist's misfortune with his father didn't mean he was a bad character through and through. I liked how he and his wife worked together and stayed true to each other. 

The frog was very clever. I'm glad there was no trouble sharing the reward between the duck and the frog. Why couldn't the frog and the rabbit have done that from the beginning? 

I have a lot of hair on my head, and I had even more when I was younger (longer, I'm not balding...). My sixth grade English teacher called me the hare, and she called this guy Quinn tortoise. I'm not really sure how he got his name. Slow?

Yak butter tea sounds disgusting right now, but I think it's because I feel sick in my stomach. Just too much food, I think. I'm sure the tea is all right. I started drinking green tea recently, and it did me well until I ran out. 

What the heck... What are you eating? My eyeball? That's pretty funny. I guess this rabbit has some complex against apex predators now. This rabbit is a psychopath! The mother bear was never mentioned again either... 

Maybe the man who fell in the lake didn't feel very well because the monkey trying to rescue him spent *days* getting stronger. I like all the weird little story beats in these stories. It's the exact thing I, and other children, find funny. 

My idea is to have a big meeting with all the characters from these stories devising a new story. Maybe they're in a troupe of actors putting on plays. There can be some kind of argument about the direction of the story, but one character, the trickster, will get what he wants by making everyone think they're getting what they want. 

Once upon a time, when animals were beginning to lose their speech, a group of animals who still had their speech thought of an idea. This group of animals was devoted to maintaining their legends in the minds of man, so they came up with the idea of putting on a play for the humans nearby. 

Something like that...

The Duck Got All the Gold (Source)

Reading Notes: Tibetan Folk Tales, Part A

 Tibetan Folk Tales by A.L. Shelton with illustrations by Mildred Bryant (1925)

I tried a new strategy this time. I read through the entire story unit before taking any notes. Let's see how it does. 

Breaking down these stories into elements to draw from, I would take talking animals, lamas (Tibetan monks, ha I thought Laura misspelled llamas at first), devils, ghosts, morals, proverbs, and... mentioning that the world at this time was super young.

In these stories the heroes can be deceitful. The "fortune teller" who killed the two devils was lying about being a fortune teller the entire time. The man told the ghost he was a ghost--I think the moral of that story was that ghosts can see through lies, but the ghost liked the man, so he blessed him. The carpenter tricked the painter and was rewarded. In that case it seems more justified since the painter was out to kill him without cause. The carpenter was very wise, I would say. 

In the story about the man who saved the other man and three animals, the moral might be to not judge a book by its cover. All of these stories have false friends. Jealousy as well. 

These stories have many tricksters. The tricksters are more heroic since they're only trying to save their lives. Well, the fox who grew up with the tiger and cow wasn't very heroic, but the frog king certainly was. The heroes of these stories are crafty, so I need to come up with someone who uses their mind to win at a situation. Even the king who judged between the donkey and the rock was smarter than everyone else in the room. He reminds me of King Solomon. 

Nothing is jumping out at me for a story idea right now, but I still have tomorrow's stories to think over. I like the idea of kings, lamas, and ghosts.

Lama not Llama (Source)

Week 6 Story: An Elephant Never Forgets

Current Version: Story Portfolio      

    "The greatest story ever told is the one told today," the master storyteller explained. "The greatest story ever told is also the most original. The greatest story ever told is the first story. Does anyone know what this story is?"

    "It's the story of everything, teacher," answered a member of the audience to the master storyteller.

    "And who are the characters in this story?" asked the master storyteller.

    "We are, teacher," said multiple in the audience. 

    "Yes, and because you are all characters in the story, so are all in the past and future. Every character has a role to play. Does anyone remember when mankind hunted beasts out of necessity?" questioned the master storyteller out of curiosity. "No? Yes, well, man wasn't always as self-reliant on the creatures of their own creation as they are today. They were once dependent on the creatures outside of their control."

    "There once was a man named Ucas. Ucas was in charge of more than just himself. He was responsible for his family and an entire village. Quite often Ucas would lead an expedition out into the wilderness to secure food for the village The journey would be long and difficult to the destination. Then came the real fight of hunting and killing the creature. On one journey back from a hunt, Ucas noticed in the distance how a pack of predators cornered their prey against a steep hill. Ucas suddenly had an idea. What if instead of hunting the creatures they needed for food they kept them within walls and killed them when necessary? Thus containment was born," the master storyteller postulated.

    "Teacher, were all creatures kept in walls once Ucas put them there?" wondered a child in the audience. 

    "No, not all. Some creatures were too mighty for the walls of the men, then. Not for long, though," the master storyteller responded. "There once was a man named Alker. He grew rich from all the creatures he held in captivity. He would sell them to others. Overtime he developed methods of making the creatures tame when the time came for their killing. His methods worked so efficiently that he wondered why he hadn't sold them to others. So he did."

    "Who did Alker sell his methods to, teacher?" 

    "Alker sold his methods to a man named Ohn. Ohn's interest was in the spectacle of certain beasts. He used the methods of Alker to drowse animals and transport them mass distances. Ohn's trouble came with training the beasts. The time spent training was greater than the time spent showing the creatures to those interested. However, Ohn's descendants persevered in their desire. As did Alker's descendants."  

    "Teacher, what did it mean for then men to persevere?"

    "Child, it meant their methods were carried as far as they could go. There once was a man named Teven. His methods were so advanced he created his own beasts and creatures. He kept them in walls of his own making and showed them to those he wanted to. The old beasts and creatures were no longer kept captive, nor were they used for food any longer. Teven's creations satisfied the needs of man, so the old creatures were no longer of any use. That is why us elephants now live in peace," finished the master storyteller.

    "Teacher! I am sick of your idealism! All along the way man has used us for their own purposes and discarded us when they are done. From captivity to emancipation, we are only doing what they let us. Those who built bonds of affection with man were thrown away just as easily once beasts were created. What is this 'peace?' We are hunted by the characters of the story you tell our children!" cried out a disgruntled member of the audience.

"My story," clarified the master storyteller, "is for the children. Not for you. In the end, an elephant never forgets what it wants to remember."

    Master Storyteller (Source)

Author's Note: You would probably never be able to guess what story this is based off of without me telling you. The major takeaway I took from Arabian Nights is the power of storytelling. Wow, actually there are far more similarities than I originally gave myself credit for. In Arabian Nights, a sultan betrayed by his former wife is marrying a different woman everyday and then cutting off her head. A brave woman named Scheherazade marries the sultan. She wants to put a stop to the sultan's cruel behavior (what a euphemism)  by telling the sultan such an interesting and long story he'll never be able to cut off her head. At least that's how I think it will go. The version of the story I read doesn't have an ending. The interesting part about Scheherazade's story is that it has multiple layers. There are characters in stories telling other characters stories and so on. I didn't quite accomplish this. Another interpretation of  mine for Arabian Nights is that Scheherazade is simply extending her life as long as possible and delaying any other woman's beheading. The nobility of that futility is also present in my story.

For anyone wondering, all the names I used were just regular names with the first letters missing. I thought it would be fun to do that. If I were to go back to this story, I would use progressively complex language to tell the story. The language would go along with the innovation man makes. Simple to more complex. Thank you for reading. 

Bibliography:

The Arabian Nights' Entertainments by Andrew Lang and illustrated by H. J. Ford (1898)

Reading Notes: Arabian Notes, Part B

 The Arabian Nights' Entertainments by Andrew Lang and illustrated by H. J. Ford (1898)

Now the Asian setting for Arabian nights makes more sense. Did China have sultans as well, or was this a combination of cultures in the telling of this story?

Did Aladdin actually have any character growth? I suppose he made a life for himself and his mother, but he did it through magical wishes. He did save the princess multiple times. His life's work was centered around her it would seem. Perhaps it could be said Aladdin's idleness was broken by the beauty of the princess. 

I like seeing all the inspirations for the Disney film. He wasn't as sympathetic a character in this version, but the tricks he used to win over the princess were clearly taken from this story. Jafar's character was an amalgamation of the uncle and the vizir in this story. It's really cool to see how the writers for the Disney movie simplified the story and made the characters more likable. I always thought the animated sequels to the movie were also taken from Arabian Nights, but it doesn't seem like that's the case. I also wish there was a conclusion to Scheherazade's story. Maybe that's in another section of the book.

There's a guy at the beginning of the Disney version who begins telling the story of Aladdin (it was secretly Genie), so I think what my story needs to be is someone telling a story. I'm not sure if there will be a story within that story yet. In Part A of this reading, I nearly got confused. Maybe I could intentionally make the story confusing by having two parties arguing, and their argument is made up of contradicting stories. That would be cool. I'm thinking about a husband and a wife telling a bedtime story to their child, and they keep disagreeing about what happened next. It could be funny. It could also be sad if the parents are actually caught up in a heated argument about a bedtime story. 

Palaces come and go (Source)

Reading Notes: Arabian Nights, Part A

 The Arabian Nights' Entertainments by Andrew Lang, illustrated by H. J. Ford (1898).

I've never heard of Scheherazade. I thought she was the sultan's wife who deceived him and then told him stories in order to stay alive. I'm pleased to know Scheherazade is a woman of virtue and is using her gift for the benefit of others as well as her father who has to carry out such horrible deeds. 

There seems to be some murkiness about the origins of this story. I could be reading something already disproven. I've always associated Aladdin-- I got it. Someone was saying the story of Aladdin was more Asian than Middle Eastern at one time, but later retellings of the story played up the Middle Eastern part. That still doesn't make any sense considering these stories definitely originated in the Middle East. I read something about the original author possibly being a traveling merchant. So if Aladdin was Asian (maybe Indian) or something it could be because the merchant traveled to foreign lands and received inspiration. 

Ha. The title "The Story of the First Old Man" had me thinking it was going to be a story about the first old man. I was waiting up until the end. 

My wife was a fairy. That came out of left field. Maybe what I need to take away from this story is the story within a story plot device.

Everyone wants revenge. 

What a switch for the genie with the fisherman. He called him king and then told the fisherman he would kill him. I see. The genie was talking to the last person he saw before he was imprisoned. I don't know if I've read this story before, or if it's just so similar to the fable with the lion and jackal that I think it's the same thing. 

Dang. That poor parrot. It is a little confusing about whether the parrot owner's wife did anything wrong originally, though.

Genies, even in their gifts, are deceptive. The four fish are different races. Apparently the blocks in Mario are Toads who were turned into blocks by Bowser. Very similar, huh?

That's a pretty good ending. I'm glad the fisherman was rewarded since it was his discovery of the genie that lead to the King of the Black Isles delivery from his untrue form. Maybe genies work in mysterious ways. 

Let me tell you a story... (Source)