Feedback Strategies: Children

 

How to give praise that builds your child’s self-esteem

Amanda Morin

My mother and father must have been aware of this advice when I was little because I find myself aware of doing those things when I talk to children now. I don't know why my mind thought for a minute my parents talking to me that way would be the only reason I talk that way now. I don't know that for sure. I was recently talking to someone about manipulation, and these statements might be considered manipulation in their mind. I don't think it is. I think it's leading someone in a direction you think is good for them to go in. Maybe the manipulation comes in when it's by force or you're knowingly using something against them you know they can't refuse? I think someone can manipulate (ha, I accidentally wrote motivate instead of manipulate at first, that's the word I like) someone into the right thing, but the end result doesn't excuse the methods. No one is going around calling motivational speakers manipulators, so I just need to remember every positive can be manipulated or perverted into something negative. 

Manipulation (Source)

A Troubling Side Effect of Praise

Youki Terada

Yea, I know the problem. I'm a side effect of the problem, too. I don't know where I got it into my head, but I do prefer to work into a comfort zone. I'm just coming out of the idea now. It's easy to believe in growth potential when you think you're smart. When you think you're dumb, growth potential seems less likely. So while I say I have a growth mindset, there are times when I don't. Luckily I've never been one to try to prove myself to others. So if I cheat, it's for my own stupid reasons. I think the test would be interesting for children who are more likely to listen to explicit instructions. It would be testing for different things. These three and five year olds are being influenced by their age to a great degree. Then again, older children might suspect they're being watched by a camera or something. Pros and cons. 

Feedback Thoughts

"A fixed mindset could be holding you back — here's how to change it" was an interesting article for me because it included real word examples and situations. One of the best experiences I've had with feedback was in my eighth grade English class. The class took a quiz over the difference between it's and its, and I mixed them up perfectly. I didn't even know about the difference at the time, honestly. (Is that a defense mechanism?) Anyways, we graded them in class, and either I or the person grading my quiz told the teacher I got every single one wrong. My teacher started laughing in front of everyone. Luckily for me, this was one my favorite teachers, so I didn't think she was being evil. This moment did teach me to not take things so seriously and to laugh at yourself when you make silly mistakes. Silly mistakes are one thing, but mistakes where you thought you were right and put so much work into a project are more difficult to deal with. 

"Why It’s So Hard to Hear Negative Feedback" is true for me at times. I don't know. I do try to shy away from efforts that aren't guaranteed, and I don't want to be shackled to that mindset. I would say outwardly people probably think I'm very good at receiving negative feedback, and for the most part I am on the inside as well. Sure, there have been times where I brush off what someone says because I think it's ridiculous, but there are other times where I do genuinely think about what the other person is trying to tell me. Culture is very important. In this class specifically, I'm not nervous about receiving feedback I don't like because the stakes aren't pass or fail. It's learn or do well. Either way, it's a positive. 

Feedback (Source)