How to give praise that builds your child’s self-esteem
My mother and father must have been aware of this advice when I was little because I find myself aware of doing those things when I talk to children now. I don't know why my mind thought for a minute my parents talking to me that way would be the only reason I talk that way now. I don't know that for sure. I was recently talking to someone about manipulation, and these statements might be considered manipulation in their mind. I don't think it is. I think it's leading someone in a direction you think is good for them to go in. Maybe the manipulation comes in when it's by force or you're knowingly using something against them you know they can't refuse? I think someone can manipulate (ha, I accidentally wrote motivate instead of manipulate at first, that's the word I like) someone into the right thing, but the end result doesn't excuse the methods. No one is going around calling motivational speakers manipulators, so I just need to remember every positive can be manipulated or perverted into something negative.
Manipulation (Source)
A Troubling Side Effect of Praise
Yea, I know the problem. I'm a side effect of the problem, too. I don't know where I got it into my head, but I do prefer to work into a comfort zone. I'm just coming out of the idea now. It's easy to believe in growth potential when you think you're smart. When you think you're dumb, growth potential seems less likely. So while I say I have a growth mindset, there are times when I don't. Luckily I've never been one to try to prove myself to others. So if I cheat, it's for my own stupid reasons. I think the test would be interesting for children who are more likely to listen to explicit instructions. It would be testing for different things. These three and five year olds are being influenced by their age to a great degree. Then again, older children might suspect they're being watched by a camera or something. Pros and cons.
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